I tend to grow comfortable in the mundane things in life so much so that I frustrate myself at times. Several months ago my job was on the line and my stress levels were at an all time high because change was coming. Everyone in my life stressing how much I should be welcoming this new reality and look to a brighter future because my job has suddenly become the cause of much of the stress in my life. I work for a highly demanding individual who is no stranger to screaming or belittling when things don’t go a certain way. I also have grown to love certain aspects of my job though. I feel accomplished, it changes daily,it’s something different ,it’s seldom boring. So when I was asked to stay after all I was relieved..much to the dismay of friends and family. The only concern now is how secure is my position really at this point and should I really get comfortable or continue my pursuit. I left my options open yesterday and willingly did an interview for a position out of my normal scope that is much more political. I’m going to give it a little shot and just see. I’m just really unsure about these choices at this time. In general I just want a good job to take care of my girls.

For several weeks now I have been taking the girls out to explore with me more. I’ve always taken them with me on my nature hikes. Lately I have been showing them more about creatures they have been less inclined to wonder. My youngest has had the most severe arachnophobia I fear brought on by fears of others including my own misunderstood. So I have made it a point to study our creatures of wonder. and fortunately we have had two amazing creatures set up close to home an orb weaver and a green lynx spider. I have explained everything I can to my youngest about both and she has grown from fear to cautionary wonder. She knows they bite but she knows they now are beautiful fascinating creatures just protecting their young and being loving mothers. Cautionary wonder and learning is an amazing tool she has went from fear to awe is no time at all. I’m so excited to see that I did that. I made that change.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

I am very new to this so here it goes. I’ve needed a place to compile my thoughts for quite sometime and the notebook has laid open and empty far too often. It used to feel up quicker than my hand could write. Over the years my mind tends to harbor and and hold thoughts closely and doesn’t seem to let them fall forth into form other than scattered thoughts and chaos in my mind which in turn created the same in my life. It’s hard to explain where I am at this moment ..thirty two, single,highly confused, and always concerned about what changes I need to make to find happiness. My truest happiness belongs to two beautiful little girls in my life. I am a single mother trying to figure it out one day at a time.