Midterms

The disappointment in my own state

The backward thinking

The closed minded stubbornness

I just want to see change.

It starts at the local level.

But we have such an embarrassment at the national level.

Advertisements

Prison Walls and Time Clocks

Tired of the puddle of tears

Left over from mental exhaustion

Backwards career

Cruel booming bull headed man

Sitting at his alter disguised as a desk

Dollar signs and PhDs

Who thinks I’m pathetic…

I chose to birth children instead of get my degree

I feel like nothing but a womb

That each word that falls from my mouth is shrouded in idiocy.

Brow beaten each time I search for answers.

I just want a raise.

I just want to support my family.

I just want to go home one day without rage crying at my windshield.

If it wasn’t for needing the bread on the table.

And food and the babies mouths.

I would do anything to ask why?

I need a boss that treats me less than human.

TRH Fragments36 2018

No raise..

Something I worked so hard to build and master at my job.

Is being placed into the hands of a person that has done nothing of any effort.

Well in his words.

I’m still waiting for the outcome.

I’m also fuming.

Post Divorce.

I am no longer a victim.

I survived something painful.

I am a survivor. I am still alive.

I know longer have to dwell on loss.

I can feel sadness but his absence taught me lessons about my own humanity.

I still occasionally cry but I no longer grieve what was.

I no longer suffer every last detail.

It’s no longer raw. The edges have softened.

My identity isn’t losing my husband.

-TRH Fragments36 2018

Becoming Human Again

I’m supposed to worry less about upsetting you now..

Like something has changed after seven years.

It doesn’t feel like that long ago. When I was less than human to you.

The dirt under your fingernails, the foul taste in your mouth.

You called child support blood money.

My maternity leave after a cesarean laziness.

I wasn’t human. I wasn’t allowed to grieve my marriage.

I was trash that you discarded and held so much hatred for and I didn’t leave.

You hated me because I still loved you. After every cruel word..after the infidelity I clung to the remnants .

Turning the page I’m supposed to trust you now.

Or so you say.

I honor your image and your name for little hearts but my trust in you faded many years ago.

Our friendship floats on the surface sugarcoated in half smiles and practiced hellos.

I’m recovering I’m growing into a person again after the years you broke me.

I’m raising two young women to never fall victim to domestic abuse. That will grow strong and understand how to walk away.

Even when it’s over that’s the hardest part walking away. Recovering. Becoming human again.

I believe I can be that again.

Human.

TH Fragments36