All that sheer frustration

Tears and clinched fist

Silent bumbling choked sniffles

Office bathroom stifles humbled sighs

Just to simply brush past my request

It’s only money

Humans mean so little in these industries

I want to leave so bad

But I need to keep going

12/6/18-Thouser

Pulling a days paid leave this close to the holidays from a single mom

Thank you I wasn’t trying my best just to put a few gifts under the tree

If screaming in my cubicle was permissible accompanied by tears

I would be all over that right now.

12/6/18 -Thouser

When the fear of walking pneumonia

Means you may be walking out on a good paying job

Because you have to choose between health and working yourself to death.

12/5/18-Thouser

The holidays are always a hard time

The loneliness sets in harder than most days of year.

The realization how much I miss the idea of being in love.

Then the realization how stupid I am for ever thinking it would work.

I have no one.

The disappointment in my own state

The backward thinking

The closed minded stubbornness

I just want to see change.

It starts at the local level.

But we have such an embarrassment at the national level.

Tired of the puddle of tears

Left over from mental exhaustion

Backwards career

Cruel booming bull headed man

Sitting at his alter disguised as a desk

Dollar signs and PhDs

Who thinks I’m pathetic…

I chose to birth children instead of get my degree

I feel like nothing but a womb

That each word that falls from my mouth is shrouded in idiocy.

Brow beaten each time I search for answers.

I just want a raise.

I just want to support my family.

I just want to go home one day without rage crying at my windshield.

If it wasn’t for needing the bread on the table.

And food and the babies mouths.

I would do anything to ask why?

I need a boss that treats me less than human.

TRH Fragments36 2018

People use the internet to disguise their acts like white pointy hats

The vile nature of human beings hurting other human beings

Hatred spews from authority and I can’t find the words to express my embarrassment.

Please let tomorrow bring some change.

-TRH Fragments36 2018

Something I worked so hard to build and master at my job.

Is being placed into the hands of a person that has done nothing of any effort.

Well in his words.

I’m still waiting for the outcome.

I’m also fuming.

I am no longer a victim.

I survived something painful.

I am a survivor. I am still alive.

I know longer have to dwell on loss.

I can feel sadness but his absence taught me lessons about my own humanity.

I still occasionally cry but I no longer grieve what was.

I no longer suffer every last detail.

It’s no longer raw. The edges have softened.

My identity isn’t losing my husband.

-TRH Fragments36 2018